Resources & Links
Books
A list of highly recommended books, sorted by category and updated as often as possible.
General Information on Domestic Violence & Abuse
Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft
Arguably the best resource for anyone interested in understanding domestic violence, especially women beginning to question, victims/survivors, advocates and other helpers. This is a must-read.
The Sociopath Next Door, by Dr. Martha Stout
Sociopaths are not just mass killers roaming the streets. Instead, they live silently among us as husbands or bosses, for example. Written by a clinical psychologist, this book is informative, thought-provoking and eye-opening.
The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern
Gaslighting is highly prevalent in abusive relationships. It's also mentally and emotionally destructive. Written by a psychoanalyst, this book is easy to read yet packed with fascinating and helpful information.
POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery From Emotional Abuse by Shahida Arabi
Review coming soon!
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans
Verbal abuse is easily hidden by an abuser but very damaging to a victim. This book is well written, easy to read and insightful.
Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi
Shahida Arabi is a best-selling author and writer. This book is an excellent expose of a narcissist and its effects on the victim. It also explains how to extract yourself from their grasp and become stronger on the other side. Packed with information and empowering insight.
Christian Books on Domestic Violence & Abuse
Is it Abuse? A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Identifying Victims, by Darby Strickland
A fabulous resource on all kinds and areas of abuse, including reflection questions, inventories and worksheets. It's written by a safe and healthy Christian counsellor and is comprehensive without being overwhelming. Highly recommended for pastors and other Christians.
Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse, by Natalie Hoffman
Written by a survivor of abuse by her husband and her church, this book is an excellent resource for women in dangerous relationships or faith groups. Insightful, helpful and encouraging for victims/survivors and no doubt eye-opening for pastors and congregations
The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So: Why You Don't Have to Submit to Domestic Violence and Coercive Control
This brilliant book covers the church's most common arguments to force women to NOT be whom God called them to be. It's an excellent exegesis of the most frequently used Scriptures. Highly recommended for churches and survivors alike.
Relationshift: Changing the Conversation about Men and Women in the Church by Dr. Jackie Roese
Review coming soon!
Christian Books on Divorce & Remarriage
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities by David Instone-Brewer
An essential resource for lay people and pastors on the Biblical truth of divorce and remarriage and it's NOT what we traditionally hear in the church - "God hates divorce." Written by a scholar of Jewish studies and former pastor, this book elucidates an understanding of the Old and New Testament statements on marriage which were previously overlooked. This book should be REQUIRED READING for pastors and in all seminaries and church communities. It's also essential reading for women who are told they're sinful and rejected by their church.
So You Are A Beliver...Who Has Been Through Divorce...: A Myth-Busting Biblical Perspective on Divorce by Joseph Pote
An excellent study of the Christian truths of divorce and remarriage. Clear, insightful and thought provoking, the author addresses the misconceptions and myths surrounding divorce in the church. It is comprehensive in scope but not overwhelming and offers a refreshing and redemptive perspective. Another book which should be REQUIRED READING for pastors and church communities.
The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So: Why You Don't Have to Submit to Domestic Violence and Coercive Control
This brilliant book covers the church's most common arguments to force women to NOT be whom God called them to be. It's an excellent exegesis of the most frequently used Scriptures. Highly recommended for churches and survivors alike.
Relationshift: Changing the Conversation about Men and Women in the Church by Dr. Jackie Roese
Review coming soon!
Websites
Links About Safety
Links to Legal Help
NOTE: Please make sure any lawyer you hire is experienced with domestic violence cases, as the legal system is generally not on the side of victims. As well, very few lawyers are trauma-informed.
This is where having an advocate to accompany you to legal appointments is extremely helpful.