Resources
BOOKS
General Information on Domestic Violence & Abuse
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft - arguably the best resource for women questioning what is happening to them, survivors, advocates, helpers, and anyone interested in understanding domestic violence - TOP RECOMMENDATION, ESSENTIAL READING
The Sociopath Next Door by Dr. Martha Stout - sociopaths are not just the mass killers roaming the streets on drugs. Instead, they dwell silently among us, such as abusive husbands and people in power - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, ESSENTIAL READING
The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern - gaslighting is hugely prevalent in abusive relationships and is mentally and emotionally destructive - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi - an excellent exposé of a narcissist and his effect on his victim. Arabi also explains how to extract yourself from his grasp and become stronger on the other side.
POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse by Shahida Arabi - another of Arabi's books with excellent reviews.
The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans - verbal abuse is easily concealed by an abuser but damaging to the victim. It's a vital topic to learn about, and Evan's book explains it well.
Healthy and Safe Christian Books
Is It Abuse? by Darby A. Strickland - a fabulous resource on all areas of abuse written by a healthy and safe Christian counsellor. The information is helpful for anyone in an abusive relationship or wanting to know more about abuse. That said, it does have a Christian foundation - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Is It Me? by Natalie Hoffman - written by a survivor of abuse by her husband and her church—an excellent resource for women in dangerous relationships or faith groups - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So by Helen Paynter - this brilliant book goes over the most common arguments the church uses to force women to NOT be whom God called them to be. Great exegesis of the most frequently used Scriptures.
Christian Books on Divorce & Remarriage
** required reading for pastors
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities by David Instone-Brewer - an essential resource for Christians - lay people and pastors, on the Biblical truth of divorce and remarriage, and it's NOT what we traditionally hear in the church: "God hates divorce." Instone-Brewer - a scholar of Jewish studies and former pastor - elucidates an understanding of the Old and New Testament statements on marriage which were previously overlooked. This book should be required reading in all seminaries and church communities and essential reading for women their churches have rejected, told they're sinful and unable to remarry - EXCEPTIONAL, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
So You are a Believer... Who Has Been Through Divorce By Joseph Pote
An excellent study of the Christian TRUTHS of divorce and remarriage - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, ESSENTIAL READING
WEBSITES
Safety
THREAT ASSESSMENT - MOST IMPORTANT DO THIS FIRST
https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/risk-assessment-tools
SAFETY PLAN - EXTREMELY IMPORTANT DO THIS NEXT
FIND A SHELTER NEAR YOU
Info
ALL AROUND EXCELLENT DV RESOURCES
https://www.domesticshelters.org/
https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/
YOUR ADDICTION MAY BE A RESULT OF ABUSE
https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/domestic-abuse/
A BLOG ABOUT NARCISSISM
https://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/?s=Narcissism
CORRECTING BIBLICAL INTERPRETATIONS OF DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
AMAZING RESOURCE LINKS
https://www.calledtopeace.org/resources/
Legal
RISE WOMEN'S LEGAL CENTRE (B.C.)
LEGAL AID CANADA
https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fund-fina/gov-gouv/aid-aide.html
LEAF - WOMEN'S LEGAL EDUCATION and ACTION FUND
https://www.leaf.ca/issue-area/gender-based-violence/
https://www.leaf.ca/issue-area/family-law/
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT LAWYERS - please make sure any lawyer you hire is well-versed in domestic violence and preferably trauma-informed. It's tough to find well-informed lawyers and the legal system is generally not on the side of abuse survivors. This is where having an advocate to accompany you to legal appointments is extremely helpful.
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