Educate Yourself

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Please note that while it is true that men are also victims of abuse, more than 95% of victims are women.  Women also tend to be significantly more disadvantaged than men in an abusive situation.  For this reasons most resources are aimed at women.

 

BOOKS

General Information on Domestic Violence and Abuse

Why Does He Do That?  by Lundy Bancroft

In my opinion, the best DV resource for women who are questioning what is happening to them, for survivors, for advocates, helpers, and anyone else interested in understanding domestic violence.

The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern

I haven't read this book myself but it comes highly recommended.  Gaslighting is extremely prevalent in abusive

relationships and very mentally and emotionally destructive.

The Sociopath Next Door by Dr. Martha Stout 

I have not yet read this book but it is highly recommended and an essential read.  Sociopaths are not just the mass killers roaming the streets on drugs.  Sociopaths dwell silently among us and many of them are abusive husbands and people in power. Very important reading.

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi

An excellent exposé of a narcissist and his effect on his victim. Arabi also explains how to extract yourself from his grasp and come out stronger on the other side.

POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse by Shahida Arabi.

While I haven't read this myself, it has excellent reviews and judging by her first book, I suspect this is important reading.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans

I have not read this book but it is a vital topic, so easily concealed by the abuser but so damaging to the victim.

HEALTHY and SAFE Christian books on Domestic Violence and Abuse

Is It Abuse? by Darby A. Strickland

Fabulous resource on all areas of abuse by a HEALTHY, SAFE Christian counselor.  It is useful information for anyone in an abusive relationship or anyone who would like to know more about abuse, though it does have a Christian foundation. 

Is It Me? by Natalie Hoffman

Written by survivor of abuse not only by her husband but also her church.  Excellent resource for women in dangersous relationships and/or dangerous faith groups.

The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So by Helen Paynter

HEALTHY and SAFE Christian books on Divorce and Remarriage
** REQUIRED READING FOR PASTORS

Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities by David Instone-Brewer

An exceptional resource for Christians - lay people and pastors, on the Biblical truth of divorce and remarriage.  This is not what we traditionally hear in the church which is that"God hates divorce." Instone-Brewer, a scholar of Jewish studies and a former pastor, elucidates an understanding of the Old Testament and New Testament statements on marriage that have been completely overlooked.  This book should be required reading in all seminaries and church communities. It is also essential reading for women who have been rejected by their churches and told that they are sinful and unable to remarry. SAFE AND HEALTHY.

So You are a Believer... Who Has Been Through Divorce By Joseph Pote

An excellent study of the Christian TRUTHS of divorce and remarriage.  SAFE and HEALTHY.

 
 

WEBSITES

SAFETY

THREAT ASSESSMENT - VERY IMPORTANT.  DO THIS FIRST.

www.mosaic.org

SAFETY PLAN - EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.  DO THIS NEXT.

https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/law-crime-and-justice/criminal-justice/victims-of-crime/vs-info-for-professionals/training/creating-safety-plan

FIND A SHELTER NEAR YOU

https://sheltersafe.ca/

INFO

ALL AROUND EXCELLENT DV RESOURCES

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/

YOUR ADDICTION MAY BE A RESULT OF ABUSE

https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/domestic-abuse/

A BLOG ABOUT NARCISSISM

https://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/?s=Narcissism

CORRECTING BIBLICAL INTERPRETATIONS OF DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

www.josephpote.org

AMAZING RESOURCE LINKS

https://www.calledtopeace.org/resources/

LEGAL

RISE WOMEN'S LEGAL CENTRE (B.C.)

https://womenslegalcentre.ca/

LEGAL AID CANADA

justice.gc.ca/eng/fund-fina/gov-gouv/aid-aide.html

LEAF - WOMEN'S LEGAL EDUCATION and ACTION FUND

https://www.leaf.ca/issue-area/gender-based-violence/

https://www.leaf.ca/issue-area/family-law/

IT IS VITAL THAT ANY LAWYER YOU HIRE IS WELL-VERSED IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND IS TRAUMA-INFORMED.  NOTE:  It is very hard to find lawyers who are well-informed and the legal system is generally not on the side of abuse survivors.  This is where having an advocate to accompany you to legal appointments is extremely helpful.

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